TO GO HIGHER:
"I hid my differences so much,
under airs or pretences.
I believed that others steps of dances,
would hide me with the eyes of people.
I never followed your roads.
I wanted to trace my way.
To go higher.."
[Aller plus haut - Tina Arena]
To go higher, he wears a leather dress to the square shoulder pads like his ancestors of Rome and the thigh boots of Gabrielle Lys.
November 14th, 2007.
THE FRONTIER RUNNER:
I'll show you something good
Oh I'll show you something good.
When you open your mind
You'll discover the sign
That there's something
You're longing to find...
[The miracle of Love - Eurythmics]
The frontier runner wears a silk dress with leather perfecto.
Gabrielle Lys. September 2007.
Sihouette cut like a primitive trophy with feathers and leather, the pace of the plains, rough and Indian, the Shaman conquers the city.
Gabrielle Lys October 2007.
BRIAN MOLKO :
"My sweet prince,
You are the one.
Me and my valuable friend,
Can fix all the pain away.
So before I end my day,
My sweet prince,You are the one".
[My sweet prince - Placebo]
Bodysuit lace and wool coat.
Gabrielle Lys. September 4, 2010.
Us, Builders of culture.
Roles related to the sex.
It is generally believed that the properties of the character which define our personality rise naturally from the biological sex. Our society allots to male or female having been born specific and arbitrary significances, i.e. qualities, roles, particular identities to each sex. Our society prescribes social roles related to the sex which are models to be obligatorily followed. These roles related to the sex are relative at the same time to psychological characteristics, behaviors, activities which one allots to the male sex or rather to the female sex and which are supposed being "naturally" specific to one or the other sex. The psychologist Sandra Bem worked out an inventory of the roles related to the sex. Here some examples of male roles: to be ambitious, energetic, to make decisions easily, to behave as a leader... and female roles: to be soft, affectionate, sensitive to the needs for the others, to love the children...
The stereotypes remain from generation to generation.
The perception of the roles related to the sex and its degree of adhesion are very early in the development of the little child. Throughout his socialization, the child and after the teenager will work out an identity in adequacy with the roles and the stereotypes assigned with his group of sex. This "sexual" identity induced conduits in conformity with these roles. Thus, the loop is buckled and the cycle can start again...
Dichotomy masculine - female.
The masculine and the female one are in fact sociocultural constructions but it is difficult to perceive it. In our perception, there is a quite visible correspondence between the sexual membership and the interest which one can carry to certain things like the Skirts, merry colors or the use of make-up for example. As if it were in the "nature of the things". Thus, a real cleavage man - woman, a dichotomy made between masculine and female is made up and compresses, restricts all the potential varieties in the manner to be human.
As of the early childhood, one gives weapons out of toys or small cars at the little boy. The small girl finds herself with a headstock and a cradle to play at the mom. The separation of the sexes is engraved forever in them, in their unconscious. Once adult, their vision of the others and themselves will remain conditioned by this dichotomy.
Our individuality with deep roots which escape to us and exceed us because they are foreign for us: others cultivated them for us, without our knowledge. Since most tender childhood, values are inculcated to us, and their sexual specificity is extremely marked.
Family, first yoke.
The model even of the family holds a paramount place within the infantile identification: this first image of the male and female roles is determining for the child, and it will obviously tend to reproduce them. The integration of the model of the couple as normalizes social relations man-woman is dominant: the family is carrying incredibly strong diagrams of representations of the male and female roles. Today one knows thaht the imitation of the parents in the psychological development of a child is important.
Doll's tea party against small soldiers.
The period of the festivals is revealing specialization of the toys. Since the blue and pink pages of the catalogues, to the shelves of the stores, one quickly realizes of the distribution of the plays in two exclusive categories. One invites girls to make like mom: doll's tea parties, headstocks predestining them with their future role of mother, domestic machines in reduction, panoplies of nurse, air-hostess, boxes of make-up... For boys, it is not a question to be like dad but more virile than dad. The plays of boy are related to the war, with the discovery, the adventure, the competition, the action, aggressiveness, the domination by the force or technical... All these values are conveyed by our society.
The media are at the origin of many commonplaces from which the individuals build themselves. Between the television, the radio, or even the publicities placarded in the streets, it is an image of the male and female stereotypes which anchors each time a little more. We would to question us on the socially built yokes which inhibit us and slow down us in the expression of our-self. If it is admitted that the two halves of the world population undergo a different training, how to imagine that each one can wear clothing which he likes without passing by a déconstruction of these social yokes?
We do not accept this dictatorship of the gender, nor do not want a single gender, but that each person builds himself(herself) as he(she)wishes.
The term "gender" was recently recognized like defining the individual, social and legal statute of a person, independently of his biological sex. Many people confuse the sex with the gender. The sex is of order biological whereas the gender is of psychosocial nature. Therefore, biology cannot dictate the gender or the personality of an individual. The gender is cultural and social. It is what one culturally allots to female or the masculine which gives the denomination of female gender or male gender to a person. The cultural one is not very suited to this kind of work. Moreover, a woman is not only female and a man is not only male. At each individual, femininity cohabits more or less with the masculinity. The levels of masculinity and femininity vary, more or less fluctuate in the course of time of each one of us according to the events, the feelings, the emotions which we live. If the gender of a person were not a data culturally related to the biological sex of the person, we would be surprised by the fluctuation of certain identities.
Evolution in the pain.
The identity of gender which is not in conformity with our biologically sex is not pathological. But it is expressed in a painful way just because of the narrowness and the poverty of the possible identities in this society. Because of this "failure" which ratified persistent thinks and behaviors, the evolution is done in the pain. As long as we will not have redefined the behavior in terms of "human", rather than male or female, we will remain locked up in a dance of death. It was noticed that many people who became agitated, sick or unbalanced were lost in fact in this dichotomy masculine-female. The psychologists observed that these people tended to go from the one to the other rather than to test an alternative between the two. Thus, the transvestites are judicious duty always to regard themselves as "men", but abnormal men, not integrated or even in perverse fetishists. The transsexuals, them, must often completely disavow their male side and become a stereotype of a woman to be able to be integrated in the society. We can strongly doubt that these forms of socialization can lead to personal blooming and happiness.
Builders of culture.
Our culture imposes the Dichotomy masculine - female of the gender to us by holding account of the biological sex. Our culture prevents us from embracing our diversity as something of naturalness - something which should be celebrated. I believe that the true solution with our dilemma it is all to include - not to do a dichotomy between masculine and female. We know, at the bottom of our heart, which we are much more than what our culture dictates to us. We can be able to reject these restrictions under all their forms, if we have a vision which transcends them, if we believe that we must go beyond. We must be conscious that each one of us, in all the measurement of its means, are Builders of culture and that it is while being ourselves that we will be able to do the best in this task - and not while being what the culture awaits from us. Since diversity which is in us is not any more in situation of contradiction or conflict, when this diversity become symbiosis, we experience a release of energy and a feeling to be well. When it is balanced and healthy, the human evolution abounds in all the directions. It does not require of the individual that he banish of his "oneself" the attributes and behaviors that the culture could in a way stereotyped to define as being inappropriate to his sex.
If you read me, you surely seek not to remain with what does not go in your life. Why always all put in drawers? Couldn't we also live with our male side and our female side while letting circulate energies freely between the two? The butterfly uses its two wings simultaneously! Imagine if the two wings did not beat together... it could not fly, to be free; it would remain on the ground as when there was caterpillar and would remain very vulnerable. Thus, remove these cultural stereotypes imposed by our society to discover what you are really and finally to be well in your head and your body.
The site is a success thanks to you all. Thank you for your expressions of sympathy in the golden
and ideological support of members. Thank you also with those which write personal messages to me. They suit me right to the heart and push me to advance always further.
GIRL OR BOY ?:
Leather perfecto with broad cap. Dress and boots out of leather.
Gabrielle Lys. May 24th, 2009.
"Protect me from what I want.
Protect me from what I want.
Protect me from what I want."
[Protect me - Placebo]
Brian Molko sings in a silk satin dress of Saris.
Gabrielle Lys. May 9th, 2009.
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14/12/2019 - 10h21
Beatrix elizabeth Hyden
- Tas -
Androgynous in mind. Male in nature. Female in appearance. What else... Mind the step!
06/04/2022 - 18h36
- France -
Bonjour, merci pour ces documents, je porte régulièrement des jupes, style sarong, notamment en vacances.
Last msg of GuestBook :
- France -
- added 04/04/2022.
Bonjour à toutes et tous,
Il y a bien longtemps que je ne suis plus venu sur cet agréable site.
Pour ma part, cela fait une dizaine d'années que je porte jupes et collants, ainsi que des robes plus récemment. Je suis un homme, et je porte ces vêtements pour varier mon habillement, sans travestissement, ni volonté de changer de sexe.
Je raconte mon "expérience d'homme en jupe" dans plusieurs articles sur le site de "Lila sur sa terrasse". Voici le lien vers le 8e article:
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